Food I dislike
I can’t stand salmon!
There seems to be an unwritten rule in modern dining that everyone is supposed to love salmon. It is consistently paraded as a crown jewel of seafood. Cooks dress it with lemon wedges and dill, and fitness influencers constantly parade its healthy omega-3 fatty acids. No matter how elegantly it is plated or how perfectly it is seared, the mere smell of salmon makes me gag. God forbid it enters my body. I fear it may kill me.
It starts with the visual. Salmon is pink. The minute I see that aggressive coral hue, I am met with a pervasive feeling of disgust. Recently, I tried to get past the look, and immediately I was assaulted by the cacophony of its texture and taste. Whereas mild white fish offers delicate flakes that go perfectly with a bagel, salmon delivers a heavy, dense, unnerving, and oily texture. Every bite coats my palate with an overly potent, metallic fishiness that refuses to be disguised no matter how much salad dressing, maple dressing, teriyaki glaze, or any other accoutrement is added.
It makes me sick. Worse still, disliking salmon is exhausting. Every dinner host acts like a personal chef who holds the secret key to my taste buds. “You just haven’t had it prepared the way I make it yet!” people claim with absolute certainty, as if giving me salmon with soy sauce and a little bit of extra ginger will magically rewrite my entire nervous system. This happens the moment I decline salmon consistently, with almost a religious zeal. I have tried every variant under the sun, from sushi rolls to wood fire grills. Every single time, without fail, it makes me sick. The verdict will never change. It is still salmon. I do not want it.
At this point, I have accepted my position. I will gladly take almost any fish, whether it be halibut, cod, or sea bass. I will gladly take most other foods that are on its level of appeal. Salmon can keep its crown as the world’s seafood superfood. As far as my dinner table is concerned, it will always be an absolute, non-negotiable hard pass. I will happily take my chances with literally anything else.